First Born
by jasmyn
Summary: Harry learns something about his past, his present, and his mother... from his least favorite teacher. The information will leave you stunned.


"You really want to know?" 

"I really want to know."

He sighed, sitting down in his chair, and he made himself more comfortable. Then, he began.

__

Lily and Severus met on the train. He didn't particularly like her, and she couldn't stop talking. She was so excited to go to Hogwarts, and see this whole new world that was opening up to her.

Severus couldn't care one way or the other. He'd grown up in it. It was nothing special.

During the train ride, Severus came to respect Lily. Why? Who knows? Maybe it was because even though every five minutes Severus would yell, "PLEASE! Shut up!" Lily would continue speaking, as if he were hanging on to her every word. Eventually he gave in and started answering her questions. When it came around to potions, they started having debates about the uses of asphodel and shrivelfig. Of course, Severus, being more stubborn, and slightly more knowledgeable in that subject, won in the end.

Severus explained how the school was separated by Houses, and that generally the students didn't much mingle out side of their Houses. Lily decided that was ridiculous, and was going to set out to change it.

By the time they had reached the school, Lily and Severus were smiling, and decided that no matter which House they were put in, they would try their hardest to remain friends. 

Lily was sorted into Gryffindor, and Severus into Slytherin.

The Gryffindors didn't much like the Slytherins (if you can imagine that), and vise versa, of course. So when Lily and Severus seemed to be spending too much time together, the members of their respective Houses made sure to keep the two far apart.

Their friendship would not suffer though. They snuck out together, sent letters, tutored each other, and took long walks around the lake. 

But as they grew older, their friends tried harder and harder to keep them apart. In sixth year, her boyfriend's best friends took it upon themselves to play a little trick on Severus involving a werewolf that almost got him killed. 

Lily couldn't convince Severus she didn't know anything about it. He stopped talking to her. 

Lily was heartbroken.

Severus went off to join Voldemort. Lily married James, just after graduating. Both lived their separate lives, wondering, hoping, and wishing that their relationship could somehow be repaired.

It was hard for Lily; in Severus she found a confidant, someone she could trust with her most inane secrets. She found a challenge in him. She wanted to be the one who opened him up, the one he trusted. She found that to be a near impossible task, but was able to keep some secrets. I'll never tell you which ones, but she does know them. And I know she kept them. 

Lily joined her husband in the fight against Voldemort. It wasn't her passion, not really, but she felt obligated to help. A part of me thinks she was just trying to understand what drove him, then, fix it.... 

One day, she received a note telling her he had taken James. She went after Voldemort, and found me instead.

She begged and pleaded for my life. She offered her own life in return. She offered everything she had... and some things she didn't. 

He stopped.

"Well?"

He shook his head.

"Are you going to finish this or not?"

He looked into Harry's brilliant green eyes. "Your mother loved you so much. You have no clue. She would have, and did, anything for you, and your safety and happiness."

Slience.

__

"Please! Don't kill him! Take me, take me instead! Not him... What do you want from me? Money, my life, my first born, what?" she screamed.

__

He smiled. "You're first born will do nicely."

Hollow eyes met hollow eyes. "She...?" 

"She loved you more than life its self."

"But....?"

"But, you're not her first born." 

Slience.

"She was pregnant, with my child, in our sixth year. After the... incident, I suppose it became too much for her, and she went into labor. The baby died minutes after being born. Nobody knew."

"Oh..."

"I didn't hate you because you're your father's child, or even because you're the Boy Who Lived. I hate you because she died before I could save her."

*~*

Harry walked into his apartment, and looked around. The trash hadn't yet been taken out, the dishes were dirty, and there were clothes lying all over the furniture. Sighing, he made his way upstairs, and into the smallest bedroom. There, lying in the middle of the room was a crib, softly rocking back and forth. He gazed down into to the sky blue eyes of the baby lying inside, and traced the lighting bolt scar on his head. 

"You too, hmm?"


End file.
